Truth & lies.

Things has not been going how i wanted it to be. Its weird, how i gained back this old friend, lost them all together with my new friends. Life’s like this ain’t it. Taking away what you thought rightfully belongs to you, what you thought would be your forever, what you thought would stay by you.

Comes and go, this great friend of mine, came back, cleared up all the stupid misunderstanding we had bear grudges for a year. One who used to stay by me till late night, chitchat, heart-to-heart talk, someone i can talked to. But , at the same time, i lost others. Shall not mention who are they, but yea, i lost them. Someone who stayed by me in this 1year, day & night. Shared joy, shared sorrows. How much i wish they were ALL still here, but yea, that’s how life is, or rather, how things have gone to.

Been long since i “talk-to-myself” on tumblr, that’s because i know no one reads it. Its just some place for me , to rant my thoughts, to speak what i wanted to speak, say what i always kept inside, just because of pride. Masked all my emotions beneath my skin, its tough, but, guess that’s the way im born to. 

This girl, she came into my life at the same time. Her smiles never fails to cheer me up. Just by staring at her smiles and laughter, it brightens my whole day. But yea, its a fact that i don’t deserve any girl. I have a bad history, sorta bad record that condemns me from all the happiness i ought to have. Who else can i blame other than myself. For being such a person in the past. Just hope that this is the last “friend” i wanna lose.

Alrights, enough of emotional stuffs, mask back on, life’s carrying on. (: 

1 year ago  /  0 notes

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: You know, I’m really sorry.
 
Eraser: For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.
 
Pencil: I’m sorry, ‘cause you get hurt because of me.
 Whenever I make a mistake, you’re always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller everytime.
 
Eraser: That’s true,
 but I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I’ll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I’m actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

1 year ago  /  7 notes

Escape?

Caught in the crossfire while the battle raged down the hall
There were no bad guys, just a couple of consenting adults
I just had to get away, but I had no car to drive
So my body stayed inside my room
As I slipped into my mind

I’m going out where no one can find me
Beyond this thickened air, where my spirit is free
I’m blasting off with a strum of my six string
Six String Rocketeer
Well, my getaway car is this beat up guitar
And I’m off to that place
Where I find my escape

Life as it happens is rarely the way that you planned
Roll with the punches or you’ll end up a mad, little man
A broken home was not the place they intended this to end
But the wounds were deep inside my soul
Let the healing begin

1 year ago  /  0 notes

Life is like a play?

Life is like a play. People always say that, and yea, i agree. Its weird how life has been going. Fate & destiny, sounds like those fairytales shits. But it just ruin a human life as easy as abc.

Strangers to friends, friends to lovers, lover to couples, couples to strangers.

Its just like a cycle. They played us as though we are toy. They put people in love, and tear them up with hatred. When one chose to stay, another chose to leave. And when the one who wants to leave chose to stay, the one who chose to stay chose to leave. 

Its really bugging me much. After so long, i still have no idea as to what i have to do. I live my life carefreely, trying to act as though nothing is affecting me. But in fact, every single bit is still aching inside me. You never have the idea of how important you’re to me. Keeping myself busy with work & school. Expressed myself as though im balancing my life with work & school. But in fact, im just trying to hide myself up , cover myself up with work & school. Just the egg, i build up the shield to protect myself from all kinds of hurt. 

I wonder how much longer i can hold up this tears beneath my eyes. Its not going to be any longer.

1 year ago  /  1 note